And Clem Hill’s pioneering work in the field of narrowly avoiding personal milestones
Andy Zaltzman30-Apr-2013″April is the cruellest month,” wrote poetry whiz TS Eliot in his smash-hit 1922 blockbuster ) does not recall the idiocy, misfortune or twitchiness of the shots Hill played on those five occasions when he fell within a single controlled clonk of three-figure glory. History (by which I mean, the internet, including Youtube) does provide us with evidence of Slater’s five extremely near-misses. He scored his first Test century in his second match, at Lord’s in 1993, an innings of blazing confidence, and a decisive speed of foot and bat that may have been reminiscent of a young Bradman, for anyone old enough to reminisce about a young Bradman. He famously gave the Australian badge on his helmet an extremely amorous smooch on reaching three figures.Slater, however, would prove to be the most vulnerable of all Test batsmen in the 90s. He reached 90 on 22 further occasions, and fell in the 90s nine times, against six different opponents, on eight different grounds. (Only England were unable to exploit Slater’s vulnerability in close proximity to the century. He converted all of his seven 90-plus scores into hundreds in Ashes Tests. Against the rest, he fell short nine out of 16 times. This is entirely understandable. He was an Australian. Playing in the 1990s.)Why was he so regularly floored within touching distance of honours-board immortality? Perhaps he was vicariously infected by the nervous 90s – in that 1993 Lord’s Test, he had seen both Mark Waugh and Mike Atherton fall for 99, the latter painfully run out. Perhaps the prospect of further romantic encounters with the Australian badge distracted him. Most players kiss it these days. It clearly has some moves.On the five occasions that Slater was out for 96 or more, he: charged down the wicket and was stumped (twice, both for 96); attempted to spank a wide legbreak over extra cover, but instead spanked a wide legbreak directly into extra cover’s hands (out for 96); slavered over the juiciest of leg-stump full tosses, and, with drool-soaked bat and with the number 97 gleaming temptingly from the scoreboard, spooned the ball straight up in the air to square leg; andon 99, thin edged a leg glance. Each time, he was out playing a shot that would have brought him to his century. Slater has an esteemed position in the history of the game, and is fondly remembered as a thrilling, high-risk opener who could shape a match from the first ball. But how differently would he be viewed had he never faltered within sight of the milestone? Slater’s 14 centuries put him in joint 16th in the all-time chart of Australia’s leading Test hundred-hoarders. If he had converted those nine 90s, he would be joint seventh, alongside Michael Clarke and Justin Langer on 23. In fact, he would probably not have been alongside Justin Langer, who in all likelihood would not have played quite as many Tests, or scored quite as many hundreds, had Slater converted all of his 90s. And Slater would probably have played more, and scored more tons. The IPL understandably hoovers up the cricket world’s attention like a lonely vacuum cleaner comfort guzzling a dust milkshake, so here are some stats from the Zimbabwe v Bangladesh series, which is operating at the other end of the Glitz Scale.Bangladesh’s troubled Test history has generated its fair share of records, but few of them have been positive ones. In the Harare Test against Zimbabwe, however, the Tigers have achieved a small piece of immortality – they have become the first team whose numbers 5, 6 and 7 have all scored 50 or more in both innings of a Test. Shakib Al Hasan (81 & 59), Mushfiqur Rahim (60 & 93) and Nasir Hossain (77 and 67 not out) were the players responsible. In the first Test, they had amassed just 45 runs between them – the worst performance by Bangladesh’s 5-6-7 since 2005, amidst one of their worst team displays even in their impressive catalogue of failures.The second Test thus represented an impressive fightback in the shootout between Test cricket’s two most defeatable teams. Robiul Islam become the fourth Bangladeshi bowler, and first pacer, to take five wickets in an innings twice in a series.In the first Test, Brendan Taylor became the second player in the last two months to score 171 in a Test, after Hamish Rutherford’s dazzling Dunedin debut for New Zealand. Before then, in 2076 Tests, only one player had scored exactly 171 – Ian Redpath, in the Perth Test in the 1970-71 Ashes.Taylor followed up with an unbeaten 102 in the second innings. The next highest score – and only other half-century – in the match was Malcolm Waller’s 55. Taylor thus became the seventh player to score two centuries in a Test in which no other player has reached three figures. On each of previous six occasions, at least four other half-centuries were scored in the match. Few batsmen have ever been so individually dominant in any Test match.Out of interest (which, by this stage of the article, I assume you are), here are the previous six players to score the only two centuries in a Test match:Rohan Kanhai (West Indies, v Australia, Adelaide, 1960-61) – ten other half-centuries in the matchGlenn Turner (New Zealand, v Australia, Christchurch, 1973-74) – four other half-centuriesAlec Stewart (England, v West Indies, Barbados, 1993-94) – six other half-centuriesSteve Waugh (Australia, v England, Old Trafford, 1997) – four other half-centuriesGrant Flower (Zimbabwe, v New Zealand, Harare, 1997-98) – five other half-centuriesTillakaratne Dilshan (Sri Lanka, v Bangladesh, Chittagong, 2008-09) – six other half-centuries